This boy is difficult.
I know, I know - he's two. But what do you do when someone likes to hit your knuckles with toy cars (which REALLY hurts) or poke his brother eyes? Who likes to hold food in his mouth for ten minutes then spit it out all over furniture or the floor? Who throws hard objects at heads?
Time outs don't work, he just bangs his head against the wall or ground and we don't want brain damage. Spanks don't work, he just covers his diaper-covered bum and says "Top it Mammas, OUCH!" tries to kick me, and makes me feel like a horrible mother.
And the hardest part about all of this is, 20 times a day, in between the hits, kicks, throws, bites, and pokes, he comes right up to me, says "Tankjou (thank you) Mammas" and gives me a big hug and kiss, for something simple like handing him his little taxi that he just hurled at my face.
I sure love that little guy.
10 comments:
Maybe you don't want advice,.. and it's not really advice,.. but it helped me with Bailey's Wicked tantrums,.. it's calle Love and Logic,.. it's awesome! Also,.. time outs in Bailey's empty room worked wonders! Just a few ideas,.. I empathize with you,.. it's not easy!
Here's what you do: You remind yourself that he's still figuring the world out on a very basic level. You remind yourself that God entrusted you with a child that requires more "work" and patience than a low-key-mellow child. (Although I think Oliver still takes the cake) You think to yourself, "Wow, God either thinks I can do this, or wants me to learn how..."
Then a tremendous supply of patience floods through you. And believe me, it makes a huge difference. And the difference is not that the tantrums and throwing stop, but that they don't make you as upset, and subsequently there is less contention in your relationship (which happens to lead to less tantrums in the long run.... but it takes a while).
You're doing great!
From one of your anonymous readers. I had a very sick child with asthma. Crying made it worse so we had to keep her happy. In turn, we created a monster! When she was better I tried what you tried and nothing worked because you can't reason with an unreasonable child. Spanking doesn't help. How can you tell your child not to hit when you hit them? A friend told me about this book Children, the Challenge by Rudolf Dreikurs. I was skeptical but it worked and people often commented how well behaved my children were. Give it a try but most of all you have to be consistent and follow through. Good luck!
sounds EXACTLY like my oldest Crea!! I promise it will get better- not perfect but better. Crea would laugh at every punishment that I would try on him.. seriously where do you go from there?? Anyways he just turned 10 and I still am not sure how to really punish him but he isn't quite as bad as he was when he was little!
Anyways good luck and know you are not alone!
oh and I honestly found the best lessons with Crea were natural ones. Even if it was hard to sit back and watch him, it was the only thing that would get his attention and teach him! (Sorry for the novel!)
~Lori
Anonymous, thanks for your advice! Do you have a blog? I'd love to get to know you so you don't have to be anonymous! Unless, of course, you want to be anonymous...then whatever!
Thanks everyone for your comments! And if anyone else has more send them my way. I'm trying all options and today was a good day : )
With Bryson the only thing that works is I stick him in his high chair and put him facing the wall. He hates it! Every kid is different, it's good we have the sweet moments that make up for the challenging ones!
Welcome to the terrible 2's thru 18! I think it can totally depend on the situation for the best trantrum squasher. Most times Carson hates the thought of timeout- because it is where he can't see what everyone else is doing and he is alone on the stairs for 2 whole minutes, which is just terrible he thinks. Because he is usually wanting attention whether its positive or negative. It sucks to listen to him scream for a few minutes but now that he is getting older he is realizing if he is just quiet for 2 minutes he can be done after the "chat". Supernanny has really good advice! I love watching it and taking pieces from her.
Spanking is up to you. I am personally not against it when it is necessary. I don't use it if he is in trouble for hitting obviously because that doesn't make sense but use your judgement what ever gets the best results.
Patience is something that us moms get to learn as our kids grow. Luckly we can learn it or I would be in the looney bin and Carson would be living with my parents. Good luck! Call if you need a phone to cry on from frustration!!
Oh one other thing- the hard part. Try to get past the "fight" as fast as they do. Sometimes Carson can be so happy and fun right after a big fight, and it can be hard to turn my attitude around but the quicker you do the better your days will be! Can't hold a grudge against a 2 year old or your whole day will be trouble.
Oh, I am totally with you! I keep thinking that my son is going to be abusive his whole life because he enjoys hurting us right now, but I'm really hopeing it's only a phase! I wish I had some advice, but if you find anything that works..let me know!
Oh no I have so much to look forward too!!! However mine is only three months old and is already throwing major tantrums in her carseat! I'm doomed! :)
Post a Comment